Older Body, Older Mind. How To Grow And Harvest Your Self Esteem

Fascinating is the realisation that as you grow older, so does your mind. It releases old beliefs as it matures. And immediately, it seems, nothing is so powerful that it destroys your sense of being.

Nothing.

I remember being five and feeling like a tiny fish in an enormous sea filled with huge school of grouper. I felt overwhelmed until I reached grade five. By grade six I was a grouper who watched the little ones dip their toes into the academic ocean on their first day of school.

It was a cruel realisation that knocked me for six when I reached high school. I was once again the tiny fish with no particular desire to repeat my first six years. I did, however, and learned many a frightful lesson along the way.

But there was one moment when everything changed. I was heading toward adulthood, not quite eighteen. It was a realisation that I had the right to my own self-esteem. Equipped with such a beast, how was one able to draw it out of its protective cave and ask it to face the world?

There were so many other people in school who knew how to do it, yet asking them to show me was beyond my ken. I could not conjure the guts to ask and no, I had no idea my inner beliefs were sabotaging my future.

And then, it happened. As though I had flicked my own switch, I saw my reflection in the mirror one morning. Oh, I’d seen myself every morning for the past seventeen years. Yet this particular morning was different. I saw a real person staring back at me. Eyes pleading, a mouth like a thin straight line across the horizon upon the ocean. This reflection was bleak.

How could I harness my self-esteem and give it a workout? The eyes staring back at me were the eyes of a young woman who already knew the answer. Beyond those eyes was a mind that inherently knew I had already used my self-esteem. I had swept off the dust and had given it an airing before trying it on. Instinctively I knew this was the direction I’d been looking for since I was five.

My future self had already been where I was heading.

Befriend Your Future Self

If there is one thing I would have given my eye teeth for when I was five going on six, it was to know my future self. Or at least be privy to a glimpse of her intentions.

Every day brought me a new fear. Fed by an overcharged imagination, each afternoon, I wondered what tomorrow would bring. Impending was more of that I had experienced the day before. I was not aware that what I thought about I would bring about.

And little did I know my future self owned her intention. In fact, her intention was and still is boundless.

Your Future Self Is Equipped with Self-Esteem

It is a liberating journey. The discovery of what you’re capable of is the introduction of a lifetime of freedom. And the way to discover it is to get to know your future self.

Knowing who you are and what your direction is, is the pathway to self-esteem.

The self that lives beyond you is the you she constantly aspires to be. She’s paving the way to make it easier. She already knows you’re lacking confidence and her goal is to show you how to meet and maintain it.

Steps to Attain Your Confidence

Stand before a full-length mirror and as you assess yourself, become aware of self-judgement. You will notice it as you criticise yourself. In fact, you may find you’ll be focusing on undesired flaws that can no longer remain unseen. Yet, those ‘flaws’ are there for a good reason.

This is you, you’re looking at. This is the vessel you occupy and it’s talking to you.

In fact, your body is a mirror of your thoughts. Every single cell within has heard what you’re thinking. And every one of them is reflecting your inner mind.

Changes Are Afoot But Only If You Allow Them

Affirmations can be your best friend, aside from your future self. In fact, the two go together like a knife and fork. One is not complete without the other. Yet, you may find that some areas of your intentions become difficult to manage.

Everything seems to be going south or it appears to be worsening. That’s a good thing. It is a sign that you’re on track and the situation is beginning to shift.

Affirmations assert what you want to become and your future self will show you how to absorb them.

As you repeat a series of words that construct exactly what you want to be, do or have, you will begin to notice changes.

The changes will be subtle rather like whispers but the results you’re looking for will be there for you. As you continue with your routine time, will become meaningless. You’ll discover it doesn’t take long at all to make a change.

Attaining Your Self-Esteem Now and Forever

Making a statement or an affirmation in the present tense is the weapon you wield.
You desire confidence and so the words you speak and the thoughts you think from now on will confirm your wish.

An abundant selection of affirmations is available to you. They will send you hurtling toward confidence and a life of design rather than default. Some affirmations that will reap results are:

• I am my own person
• I am overflowing with love
• I am a deserving human being
• I am filled with confidence
• I am happy and joyous
• I am grateful I have enough
• I am always aware of my thoughts

Notice how each affirmation begins with “I am”. “I am” are two of the most powerful words you could ever say. The subconscious mind does not acknowledge past, present or future yet it reacts favourably to words that follow “I am”.

Delivered will be whatever you insert after the two most powerful words you could utter.

Let’s regress to the past for a moment.

Let’s assume because I don’t know your past, that you lost your love for yourself. Let’s also assume there was even less love expressed throughout your childhood. While we’re at it, we’ll throw in a dose of a lack of encouragement to feel good about yourself.

Now that we’ve wrapped the entire package, we can now see why we don’t enjoy a whole lot of self-esteem. What occurred throughout those growing years was the constant criticism of other people. And that is what has become second nature to you.

It is vital that you begin this new phase of your life with a generous dose of love for yourself. The next step is approval. Approve of yourself and release any guilt you may be carrying. It will never serve you, so let it go.

In my eBook I am preparing, Boundless Intentions, its pages serve to remind you that you have a soul. You have a right to belong on this gorgeous blue planet. You also have the right to feel as confident as you were meant to feel when you were created.

There’ll be nothing in this book that you don’t already inherently know. There’ll be nothing on the pages that is going to spring into your awareness and say “Here I am! Do you believe me now?”

What will appear time and again are reminders. They’ll tell you, You Are Deserving. They’ll tell you, You Have the Power to Create, to Manifest and Enjoy Everything Life Hands to You. And you’ll be reminded that your thoughts are what creates your future just as they have created your past.

I smile at people all the time now. The best result I’ve ever got is about 80% of smiles returned. The other 20%? They’re still learning how.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve been watching, reading, and trying to FEEL how 2016 seems to have betrayed so many of you.

Without going into the deepest details that are at this point in time, unnecessary; throughout this last entire year, the one before that and way back when I learned the Attitude of Gratitude, my life has been wondrous.

Challenges and all. Gratitude in its SMALLEST form is a THANK YOU.

The Universe, regardless of a time frame, (invented by mankind), enjoys appreciation no matter how tiny you might consider it. Spoken aloud; written at the end of your day after you’ve brushed your teeth; a whisper, a nod, an acknowledgement … whatever it be… will alter your life as it has mine.

Try to find the tiniest Thank You and invest within it an expression with every heart felt emotion you possess then watch as the magic unfolds.

NOTE: Don’t expect miracles overnight. Your miracle begins with GRATITUDE. It begins right now with YOU ♥

How to Live Your Dream

I wrote a blog last June. How To Get What You Really Want, shared ways that can help to manifest what you want to an effortless, fairly simple degree.

I forgot to mention one very effective element that ignites some of the ways to manifest and gets the process moving a bit quicker. I found it just the other day.

This is not making too much sense yet, so I’ll explain what I mean in more detail.

I harboured a dream of a life I had wanted to experience and decided to address it in a different way.

I know dreams come true when you stay true to the bigger picture as it were. About four years ago I drew a picture on a piece of note paper. It was a very detailed picture. I was designing my destiny on a piece of paper and in fact the details were so concise that the clarity was almost frightening and I’ll explain why in a moment.

I drew an acreage with trees planted strategically upon it. There was a small dam in one corner rather like a pond for the ducks and I had drawn a larger one near centre of the page where larger ducks could swim.

On a slight incline I had drawn a house. It was two story Queenslander with a wide veranda around its perimeter and it sat largely on the top centre of the block of land. I had painted it a pale almost cream colour and depicted the veranda balustrade with a different, richer colour.

There were two cars parked in the garage which sat aside the house and on a separate space independent of the garage was a shed for all the garden tools and the other bits and pieces one has when one owns large acreage.

I had drawn a hen house type building at the rear of the property and inside were four chooks.

There were bright coloured birds in the trees and flowers in full bloom in garden beds arranged throughout and around the yard. It looked like an oasis.

The driveway was long and winding, flanked by gum trees and other native trees that would encourage wild birds to them. The entire picture was a picture of peace and tranquillity in and of itself.

I finished it and filed it away then promptly forgot about it. My life moved on and I eventually found myself a little further north enjoying magnificent weather and a brand new lifestyle.

That was two and a half years ago. I’d been here on this gorgeous pocket of paradise that is the prettiest in all creation. Two and a half years where the ocean was just ‘down the road’ and life was truly grand.

One day just recently I noticed there were still a few things I hadn’t unpacked yet. A small box held some old stuff that needed to be filed away in the cabinet so I brought it upstairs to my den.

Inside the box, I found an old picture. I remember drawing that, I thought as I looked at it and I found a chair in which I sat very heavily. I suddenly realised I was living my picture. I was living my dream.

I dwell now in a two story, pale cream Queenslander with a veranda around its perimeter. Upon the larger of our two dams which abuts the tree lined driveway,  the ducks swim in relative peace and safety. The gardens are abloom with colours from a rainbow and the trees, mostly native to Australia often hold an array of colourful parrots, some of which I now hand feed.

There are two cars parked in a garage situated independently from the house and beside it, a small garden shed houses the ride on lawn mower and garden tools. Tall ghost gums, grey gums and iron barks grow strategically over the acreage and just beyond the garage is the hen house with three chooks in it.

In the space of four years I had designed, focused, added clarity and manifested my dream.

With nothing more than a pencil in hand, I had drawn what I had wanted to experience and with the detail, had assisted in giving my picture depth and scope; little realising I was manifesting my new life.

It is said your thoughts become things. That when you focus on what you dream you must leave the ‘hows’ to the Universe. In my case it was what I drew that brought my dreams to life.

I’ll leave you with that thought. I’ve got to bet back to manifesting more dreams.

How to get what you really want

Leonard Cohen said, ‘Of course everything has a crack in it; that’s how the light gets in.’

Shedding light in quiet moments of reflection is a way to use the 20/20 vision of hindsight. Our thoughts become the events and things of our life and whatever is occurring right now is a result of what you thought about yesterday.

Thoughts become Things is an all the time law, not a sometimes law and when you become aware of this you’ll wonder why you’re worried about how your dream is going to true.

How often have you asked that all time classic question, ‘How come I don’t have that?’ or ‘Why does she do it so effortlessly and I find it so challenging?’ The key to making something come into your life experience is a matter of simple change. Change the picture in your mind to the new desired end result and make sure you have big, bold end results.

All manifestations begin with the end in mind. And end results force you to seek out the details. Forget the ‘How’s. Okay? The ‘How’s’ are just a spanner that you’ve unwittingly put among the screw drivers. You don’t need to know how it’s all going to come about for you. All you need to know is that it will, if you allow it.

So, you’ve shown up in this life to experience the good stuff and the not so good stuff. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could experience about eighty five percent of that and fifteen percent of the other? You cannot have one hundred percent of the good stuff because you wouldn’t appreciate it. You’ve got to have some of the bad stuff in order to appreciate the good things in your life.

Having great big dreams aren’t going to go anywhere until you take some kind of action. If you’ve ever seen The Secret you’ll probably say I don’t need to take any action. My dream will just land at my feet. I’ve got it in the bag.

Well sorry, but it doesn’t happen like that. You’ve got to show up in life. You’ve got to act upon an inspiration when it shows. You’ve got to take a step forward. Now, it doesn’t matter what steps you take, all roads are going to get you to where you want to go. If you’re going in the wrong direction that’s okay. If you’re listening, you’ll hear ‘make a U turn’. You’re not going to get chastised nor are you going to confuse the timing but you will get to enjoy where you are right now as you make progress.

You’re going to be out there where the serendipities will find you. They certainly won’t find you while you’re sitting at home waiting for the mail man to drop a fat cheque in your letter box. Once you get going the guidance is forthcoming and chances are the road you start out on won’t be the road you finish on.

Miracles aren’t evident until after you’ve completed your journey. That’s when you look back and you can see where the serendipities were. You get confirmation that you’re on the right track by the decisions you make along the way. They act as your radar. Determine what your end results are going to be, make them big and gorgeous and then step forward.

Often it is said that each step no matter how big, can seem paltry but each one is indeed progress. Each one is closing the gap between you and your dream and as you journey forward, you’ll notice how nuances are little subtleties that offer direction. They’re there like tiny carrots in front of your proverbial donkey. They’re there to entice to you to keep going. The tipping point was made the moment you decided to act upon your inspiration. Don’t stop midway because you feel as though you’re taking too long. It’s the journey you must enjoy for the end result is only a breath away.

Thoughts become things. When you hold a thought in your mind for 67 seconds you’ve got the foundations of manifestation and when you have hope, the possibilities are endless. You don’t need to attach yourself to the specifics of your dream; attaching yourself slows up your progress. If you’re always wondering about the ‘How’s’ you’re complicating matters let alone delaying the arrival of your experience.

When you want something to show up in your life there are three things you can do with very little effort and the results will come galloping toward you thereafter.

• Define your end results and keep them general – don’t complicate them
• Get excited about the end result by envisioning the details in detail
• Physically show up and take action

Look forward and see the road you need to take in your heart. Know that every road will lead you where you want to go. Remember however, that when you’re totally focused on the how’s, the windows of opportunity are going to slide closed because you’re not looking in their direction.

What right have you to insist a lie is truth?

I read a page in a book. I listened to an audio. I put the book down. I turned off the audio. Neither which I will resume to pursue for I will not be forced to alter my beliefs, nor will I erase the words I have read in other books and heard on other audio’s that have bolstered the beliefs in my heart.

Animals don’t have souls? What a load of crap! And who are these authoritarians? Have they lived as a cat, a dog, a bird, a horse, a fish? I have always passionately believed in what I was taught when I was a child. An animal, any four legged beast, every bird, fish, mammal, reptile will return to the dust from which it was created. I am not a disputing the fact that every person is entitled to his or her opinion, but when I came across this; Eccl 3:21: “How can anyone be sure that the human spirit goes upward while an animal’s spirit goes down into the ground?”

 

I am not a religious person, I admit, but I do have my own beliefs and one of them is a profound understanding, through my own experience, that animals do have souls. How could they not when the love they share is so lacking in judgement? How could they not enjoy the sensations of happiness when they express sunshine in their smiles? How do I physically feel their bodies pressing close to my legs as they pass through the door? How do I feel the unconditional love outpouring from two liquid brown eyes that gaze at me with such gratitude it brings tears to my eyes? Do not tell me an animal does not have a soul.

There are many of us who have been left with a void in our hearts that no other pet replacement can ever truly satisfy. In mine, there will always be the sting of regret that I wasn’t with her when my little one passed over, but she crossed the Rainbow bridge with a vitality that had been robbed from her in her later life.

The love we shared was exceptional; like a mother and her daughter and because of this, she has since returned to the physical world on occasion. Due to having attained a spiritual awareness whilst she lives in the astral, that awareness is on a higher level than the level she knew whilst on this plane. Her love and determination to visit me is exceptionally strong and although it is rare for animals to revisit old territory; they are mostly content to wait for their humans to join them, she comes and goes as she needs to.

There will come a time, as mine grows shorter, that her visits will be less frequent. I am aware that she is blissfully happy in the astral plane and her desire to visit the relatively harsh physical world I inhabit will diminish.

I can rest assured that our reunion will be as happy as it was when I returned home to her in her physical life. Her tail will wag and then with her smile she will fill that barren void she left when she died. When I pass over in another thirty, forty or fifty years she will welcome me as though I have returned from popping out to buy the morning paper.

In contrast to some misguided beliefs of people who have never been inside the soul of their fur baby, I can only rest assured also in the blinding light of truth, that as written somewhere in Ecclesiastes, man’s fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both.

Thomas Wolfe wrote: “Of all I have ever seen or learned, that book [Ecclesiastes] seems to me the noblest, the wisest, and the most powerful expression of man’s life upon this earth – and also the highest flower of poetry, eloquence, and truth. I am not given to dogmatic judgments in the matter of literary creation, but if I had to make one I could say that Ecclesiastes is the greatest single piece of writing I have ever known, and the wisdom expressed in it the most lasting and profound.”

I’m off to read Ecclesiastes. And I’ll leave you with this as a reminder to trust in your own beliefs because they’re going to be what buoys you in the long run as you wait for your own reunion.

Can you imagine a heaven without pets?

There is a very special place where beloved pets go after they die. This is only a temporary location. But there are trees and grass and lakes, and everything they love. Here they can play and eat and sleep, even better than they did, before they died. Now, there are no aches or worries or dangers of any kind to trouble or threaten them. The only joy missing is their beloved human companion, you.

All health is restored completely, and all injuries are healed. Dogs and cats play with each other like youngsters, and they do not have time to feel lonely for you. They miss you, and with the special wisdom that animals have, they trust that this condition will get better. And they confidently wait as they frolic.

A wonderful day will come for each of them, when in the middle of playing they will suddenly feel something is different. And all their senses will be at the height of excitement and exuberance. They will sniff the air and look off in the distance where they recognise that dearly loved special presence. Then they will call out in elation, and with eyes shining and tail going wild, tear off at a full gallop, almost flying over the green grass.

Your expected arrival has been sensed, and now there is nothing that can keep the two of you apart, ever again. As you run toward each other the tears flow from your eyes. Your pet leaps into your arms, and you cling together in jubilant reunion. The joyous kisses are all over your face, and you kiss back, just as ecstatically. Your hands so lovingly caress once more the beloved fur, the head and neck and body you knew so well. And you look into each other’s loving eyes, and all those old, wonderful shared feelings are back, again.

And then something will call the both of you on, to a different field of warmth and nurture, where all the love you knew now comes to fruition. With your pet, you leave that special waiting area, walk into the main part of heaven, and begin a new existence there, together.

If you accept that pets can love us as much as we do them, then the logic is clear and cannot be denied. If you believe that there is a heaven for people, then they must be there, waiting for us, when we cross over. Heaven is love, and pets always share that with us.

Wallace Sife, Ph.D. The Loss of a Pet (Third Edition, 2005), Chapter 16

 

Facing Adversity with only the best intentions

You know what truly sucks?

What truly sucks is the brick wall you just bumped into. It’s virtual of course, that is, the bricks and mortar are just a representation of the powerlessness you feel when all of a sudden your entire world loses it’s basement. You plummet to the bottom of an endless pit of despair. Woe is you and all the effort you put into building a stunning port folio has gone down the chute with you.

It took the click of a mouse and your dream vanished. Suddenly it lost it’s flavour and you have become one of a multitude of failures. You curse, you gather a collection of revengeful ways to get back at the forces that caused this misfortune and when you come to terms with those confounded echoing words, ‘this was meant to be’, the tears threaten as your world is shredded.

You’ve been sharing a slice of your soul. You’ve punctuated every moment of every action with a slice of your heart. Your entire being was involved. What the hell do you do now that it appears it’s all over? And why should you even care about trying to repeat something that could never be replicated? What’s the use anyway? You walk away; your eyes blurred and all the while words of self recrimination are as present as the air you breathe.

Speaking of which, you do. You mindlessly breathe.

Now that you’re aware that you do this habitual, can’t-help-but-do-it, thing, you keep breathing. But when you take one single deepest ever breath and hold it for an instant then then slowly release it, something happens.

Did you feel it? Did you feel the woes and the adversities flow from your body as though on a wave of new beginnings? Did you feel the wondrous moments of realisation that all is not lost, that in a few moments your lucidity will return and you will be guided to take a particular course of action in order to remedy this situation?

Be patient. It will occur. Just breathe. Do it again with purpose. Breathe in deeply, hold it for an instant then release.

In any situation, whatever the time, whatever the day, we all need breathing space, particularly when adversity or a tasteless bad moment threatens to release a wrecking ball in your direction. You need to realise you have every right to breathe in slowly to absolute capacity and then allow that breath to flow out of your body taking all the self created stress right along with it.

Self created stress did you say?

Nothing you create in any typical day is worthy of blame. You cannot blame someone else for results for which you were ill prepared, that destroyed all measure of hope within you. Your thought tracks brought this moment hurtling toward you like an out of control train wreck about to ensue. And with it comes admission. Like a whisper of resignation, I brought this on myself.

I bumped into a wall very recently and it almost destroyed me. But when I realised my thought tracks, the patterns that had had me caught up in a vortex of ‘what if’s’ when something negative I had read in a review seemed to adhere to my brain waves without my consent, it was in those precise moments I could rest assured that what I was thinking about I was bringing about.

But the result of being locked out of a site due to unforseen circumstances, being utterly rendered null and void and suddenly realising that regardless of the money earned that was also locked out of my reach, I could no longer continue to do what I absolutely love to do.

I swore. I cried. I grieved for a part of my life that appeared in all facets, absolutely dead and it hadn’t even truly begun to live! How dare they! How dare the Universe lock me out of my brand new, passionate, absolutely loving this work, moment with a blank stare back at me as though it were saying, ‘Okay, now whatcha gonna do?’

The whole thing began to stink

The negative review I’d read; the circumstances I assumed had taken over, my demise at having been ‘frozen’ out of my account, it all began to smell very bad. Regardless of where my thoughts happened to be; typically they were under all the other layers of thought that belongs in any task, future event or circumstance, stopping to breathe brought clarity to the moment. My earned reviews, every gorgeous, perfect, wondrous, brilliant, fabulous one of them, lost to me forever and when I thought of the port folio I had been building, it all seemed so hopeless. But then it hit me. ‘Frozen’. The account was merely frozen wasn’t it. It would eventually thaw wouldn’t it?

I often remind myself that I am wholly and solely the driver of my life.  My reaction to adversity will inevitably mean the difference between an acceptable or an unacceptable result. And then a sense of venturesomeness kicks in; some call it fool hardiness, but it’s the sheer determination to see this fly even if it’s by the seat of my pants, and it’s banging a drum whose rhythm confirms, I will not be denied! It is the emotional resilience that helps me to seek advice from my own intuition that I wholly trust and then I can go forward to make necessary choices.

Taking action is the first step to success

Don’t just sit there and curse. You’ve already done that and a repeat isn’t going to change anything. Action however, will.

I wrote a , very firm, very rigid email to the company who had taken steps to freeze me out and asked them very politely, why? I left all my unfounded assumptions at the gate, signed with a happy note then realised our time differences would incur a wait of about 3 days before I received, if I received, no! I would receive a reply. The other side of the world was just about to launch into their weekend.

Waiting has it’s own merits but instead of stewing away on the what ifs, I found other projects to immerse myself in and discovered an equal degree of enjoyment. Another day, another hour, another thought and it was a pleasant journey feeling grateful to have had the opportunity to build a port folio; to feel the assurance that I did have what it took for complete strangers to send reviews that in one magic word told me ‘Perfect’.

The waiting continues and while the technical interruption is solved, the entire community in the virtual world of writing, waits until we thaw out. Indeed it is with absoluteness of faith that if doesn’t work out, if the ice is too tough to chip away, if the technical interruption is what it is, then I move forward knowing if I’ve made one port folio and attained some pretty gorgeous reviews, then I can do it again. And I will.

 

How To Take Your Mind To Bed When You Go There To Sleep

How many nights does it need to take until you can get a decent night of uninterrupted sleep?

I am so tired of waking up during the darkest pre dawn hours only to accommodate a mind that just can’t seem to let go of yesterday’s developments.

It wants to worry and confirm. It wants to reason and decipher. It wants to just keep going as though it has been swallowing bucket loads of caffeine pills.

Going to bed with all good intentions of getting a good night sleep is all very well. The researchers have been spending endless waking hours trying to figure out why we need to sleep at all! And the How To books have been preaching all the do’s and don’ts.

• Don’t bring your work to bed with you
• Don’t over sleep
• Don’t try to get by on too little sleep
• Do maintain a consistent wake up time
• Do get up and read a book instead of just lying there

How about explaining something we haven’t heard before? Something simple that even my mind can get it’s mind around.

Nothing has been working … until now.

I found the Holy Grail! I found how I can get an uninterrupted night of blessed sleep!

Are you keeping a Gratitude Journal or as some people refer to it, a Gratitude Diary?

Ah, what is a Gratitude Diary?

It can be in the form of an A5 note book or a bound A4 journal. It can be a simple sheet of paper! There is no right or wrong method to keeping your gratitude so long as you just write down your thanks at the end of each day.

Then take three to five things that you are thankful for and write them down. Feel the flow of emotion as you recall your appreciation.

All that is reflected on the page is all that is needed for a great night sleep. But it doesn’t finish there. It’s as though over night your gratitude overflows into tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. And the pleasure of building a constructive, consistent habit is far better than a destructive one.

There’s a certain kind of magic to maintaining a system like a Gratitude Journal or Diary. A recipe is released from inside and that recipe travels to the brain where it delivers four of our main feel good natural ingredients; dopamine; the reward hormone, endorphins; natural pain and stress fighters, serotonin; that regulates libido, social behaviour, moods and sleep and oxytocin; which plays a huge role in pair bonding.

Writing a gratitude journal is like training the brain to be happy, relaxed, trusting and respectful – not necessarily in that order. But gratitude is like bathing your entire body, inside and out, in a feeling of thankfulness. The reward ~ a restful night.

Even if you have to get up to pee, once you’re done, you crawl back under the covers and in moments you’re back on the Land of Nod.

Why does the simple act of gratitude make such an enormous difference to our sleep patterns?

Think of it this way. While your daily life is about helping someone, (and you are, for every movement and thought, someone is benefiting) isn’t a simple ‘Thank You’ enough to keep you on the straight and narrow?

Somewhere inside a part of you is glowing; your dopamine is showing. You’ve been acknowledged and it feels good and you feel compelled to do a little more.

So it is when you express your gratitude. You receive more to be grateful for.

Expressing gratitude when it’s real, comes from the heart and the ‘Happy’ ingredients flow into the brain; the relaxed way you’ve said a meaningful ‘thank you’, the way you inherently know that all is well, the trust you suddenly feel that burbles through your veins like an express train on happy pills.

The secret is to write at night just before you close your eyes.

It’s as simple as that and the rewards are first class.

Good Bye Life … Hello Valium!

My friend of fifty years and I have talked together for what seems aeons. We recently found each other again, closing the gap of twenty years over the phone, over Skype video wherein we’re devoid of make-up and what the hell? Who’s going to notice that we didn’t wear our usual ‘work-day’ face?

I tell myself, this is the real me! And the real me is about to talk to the real you!

The real you begins to explain to the real me that you can talk underwater with a mouthful of marbles and further more, you can do it 24/7 because you suffer from a deplorable lack of sleep and therefore it is in your best interest to try to keep yourself amused. You don’t take a breath!

You then get all of the nasties out of the way. All the nitty gritty little burrs that have found a secure position under your proverbial saddle. ‘I mean’, you begin honestly, ‘I’ve been suffering from insomnia for years and the reason for that is …’ You fade into a long suffering memory. ‘Anyway, it’s all over now and if it wasn’t for the Valium I’d be a complete mess.’

You light another cigarette and then sip on your third cup of coffee for the morning. You’ve been out of bed for all of a half hour. Your brain is burned out but it will be alright as soon as the ‘Meds’ kick in, you explain.

Regardless, the idiosyncrasies I remember are still there. Faded and frayed they appear to be but they show up in a different, almost blacked out light. The personality of my dear friend whom I spent all the early years with laughing and playing as children, has barely raised it’s eyebrows. The shadows loom as she swallows another Valium so that she can avoid a dark place in her mind.

Her words are slurred and if it weren’t for the fact that I know she doesn’t touch alcohol, I could swear that she’d been on a bender all night! She’s coming down from the 375 ml she had yesterday. She needs a top up.

‘I’m coming interstate to see you! I can’t wait to see you!’ I’m excited. My friend is excited and together we plot and plan how she will come up and how I will meet her. We can’t wait!

The day has arrived and it’s twenty years in the making. My excitement builds like thunder behind a mountain. It’s intoxicating. As the train approaches on what my friend laughingly refers to as planes, trains and automobiles from the movie of the same name, with the first two having now been executed, I stand awaiting her arrival on a tiny platform in the country and watch as the train pulls in.

Years transform people and our faces aren’t altogether twenty something smooth any more. I notice enviously, the lack of laugh lines at the sides of her eyes and I realise, dolefully, I have more than her. I accept our genes are different but I can’t help to notice she looks amazing. The transition we made from a carefree five year old, to the fifty five year old is remarkable in itself.

I hear an echo of laughter that is familiar but the voice is an oddly deep pitch that doesn’t seem to suit the woman I knew again twenty years ago. Even as I watch as she picks up a bag and begins to wheel a suitcase behind her whilst a laptop in a case hangs precariously on her bony shoulder, I am taken aback with shock. I inwardly gasp at the skeleton that walks toward the car I’ve parked in the parking lot.

‘I need a cigarette!’ she announces. ‘Is this a smoking or a non smoking car?’

There is so much to tell each other and the excitement is beginning to re-surface, bubbling happily through smiles and eyes that shine. Suddenly we’re hugging again because although the years have been kind to one of us, the other needs reassurance that we’re together again, if only for a few days.

The constant flow of words between puffs of cigarette smoke is extraordinary. I am hearing them and physically watching the mouth move in smoky plumes  without a break. Words are tumbling over each other but I am understanding what she’s saying because there is much she needs to tell me.

Finally we’re in the car and we need a bank! We need a bank now! Impatience begins to reign and I’ve got to reel in all the strength I have to explain very clearly that we’re in the middle of the country, that the next bank is probably twenty minutes away but we can … ‘ and I am immediately interrupted.

‘It’s too hard. It doesn’t matter. Tomorrow we can find a bank,’ she tells me. I understand. She’s tired, it’s been a long day.

We’re on our way! I am finding the trip home exhilarating and challenging. I am asked questions which I find I can only semi answer before another throng of yarns comes tumbling out of her mouth with a colourful array of expletives that are curling the hairs on the back of my neck. How did she learn to swear like that?

It is subtly suggested that it would have been wonderful to be able to extend this trip into a few more days than the five already ahead of us and I inwardly gasp as I find myself grateful for the prearrangements. This is day one. And I guiltily realise I still have four more I must survive.

We arrive home and I am aware my energy has already been depleted. I know I am going to be desperately craving my own space and I will be exhausted when the end of the week comes.

We’ve transformed. We’ve both changed. We’re not the same any more which is absolutely normal, but replaced within my friend is a substance or three. It is in her mind, therefore in her life. The pills will be taken within seconds of rising in the morning. They will be in sequence of twelve time compartments that will conclude on retiring for the night. It will be a constant cocktail of valium, cigarettes, coffee, very little to eat and Facebook. Pretty much in that order.

Punctuated throughout each day is the cracking of knuckles; one slow, deliberate joining of hands and then stretching them beyond to hear the bones crack. ‘The rings on my hands’, she explains, ‘are there forever because they won’t fit over my knuckles.’ I nod as I fight to conceal the shock as she reaches for the mouse to her laptop and signs into Facebook with an ever present tremor in her fingers.

One question is repeatedly asked and I repeatedly answer. But it is over and over again with a giggle and ‘just one more time’, that I answer it while my patience is stretched beyond breaking point. I write down the ‘how’ to in steps on a piece of paper so that she can follow it until it is memorised.

A little while later she asks me again.

‘Where is the piece of paper I gave to you with the steps to follow?’ She explains it is downstairs, packed away in case it gets lost.

I am finding her conversations punctuated with profanities a little too much too take. I need to catch my breath; perhaps I’m catching it for both of us for she has not done so since she arrived.

More coffee, another bout of swearing and explaining that she is not judgemental or angry or resentful or jealous, as she pops another 20 ml of valium and spills her coffee again. I think maybe therein lies a little bit of all of the above as she asks me how I’ve come to be where I am on this ‘gorgeous’ property with this beautiful view and all the wild life that surrounds us during the daylight hours.

‘How did you get so peaceful?’ she asks as she lights another cigarette. ‘Your inner tranquillity is extraordinary.’ It is then brought to mind that whilst she is drinking in the quietude she realises ‘Oh wow, I’ve only taken my valium four times today.’ That equates to about 80 mills. In essence, she is a typical 375 ml per day patient!

Still, I am staggered but I am reminded, this person has a soul just like I do and I try inwardly not to judge her but my heart is breaking. I am watching my memories. Two little girls who adored each other and who on becoming young women lost touch for a few years. We had a chance to rekindle our friendship for another while and we did. We journeyed onward to become midlife candidates and while one is moving forward with gusto, gratitude and grand plans, the other is convinced that this is it. Valium, coffee, cigarettes, Facebook … this is life. The difference between us is vast.

I ensure our days together are full while she’s here. We walk the shores of the beach where I take my dogs for a swim each day. I show her shells and I point out islands in the distance. The wind blows and we take umpteen photos that will inevitably finish up on Facebook. She knows how to upload them now. She’s asked me how and I’ve told her many, many times.

We go to town and play tourist while she insists I stop at road signs and take photos of her pointing up at them as though she’s proving she’s really here.

We wander down the esplanades as the waves tickle the sand on the beach and the little shops beckon us to enter. We chatter mindlessly and we enjoy each moment.

We lunch. We laugh. We leave. We’ve built new memories. Perhaps our last.

I trust she’s had a great time as she sits at the dinner table on her last night eating freshly caught crab with my husband and I. It is our last night. We have one more sleep before she must be back on the automobiles, trains and planes.

I’m exhausted. It’s almost 9pm and I need to go to bed. She laughs at the time. Seriously, she asks. Indeed seriously, I tell her as she convinces herself, she can’t sleep.

It’s 2am and the television’s ghostly white glow floats into my room across the hall where I am roused from sleep by the murmur of the dialogue. I am annoyed. I close my door and feel gratitude again. I am grateful for my mental health, my physical health, my zest for life and my need to achieve and surrender to my goals.

But I am also in a place where I know I must step away from a memory that belongs where it hibernates now.

The life my friend chooses to live is a life that I cannot. Nor do I wish to take control over hers. We are different. Our friendship bears different facets and we need to accept we do not possess the fearless, carefree essences we did all those years before. Sadly, we must face the truth. We have nothing in common.

It is time for her to go. We hug and it’s bone snapping. ‘I love you’, she whispers as we embrace again. ‘I love you too’, I reply and I know I am loving a very worn out, frayed memory that no longer has a place in my ‘now’ heart for I believe it is time to move on but I do not let her know this.

I understand our paths needed to connect for an instant in time. Questions were asked and answers were discovered. We wished for this moment and the Universe granted us manifestation for which I am truly grateful.

I had memories that showed me life as I knew it. I do not know of the ones that have punctuated all her missing years but as I waved at the car that drove my friend away, it tore my heart to realise I was truly waving good bye.

Your thoughts alone can create a cascade of amazing opportunities

Life gets mighty precious when there’s less of it to waste ¬ Bonnie Raitt

Midlife – many of our thoughts about it remain in the Dark Ages. These thoughts and opinions will hamper who we are and what we’re doing … if we let them.

We’ve come this far and now there are so many of us who have a need to break free of the ‘standards’ offered to us. We are finally ready to do something far-reaching and soul satisfying and we’re ready to do it right now.

I know, I’ve felt it. You probably have too. Is it as though we’ve reached this point in life where we’re assuming that our options have become limited, that we’ve just about exhausted all our opportunities? Is it as though it is an urgent calling that is screaming, ‘Do something damn it before it’s too late!’

Oh no; life will be exactly what you have programmed it to be but it can be so much more if you just allow it.

You see, your inner thoughts are those that will govern what you feel is possible for you now. Your thoughts – no one else’s. Your thoughts alone can create a cascade of amazing opportunities that can give you the freedom to live your life as one you designed. It is a very personal choice and one that you have the power to choose.

I remember when I was living my twenties as though I would remain eternally in those years. I was always happy to do something, try something, and be something. It was ‘yes, I’ll do that,’ and ‘yes, why don’t we go there?’ It was yes, yes, yes.

Then in my mid-thirties it became more frequently, no. ‘No, I haven’t got the time today,’ or ‘No, I just can’t’, or just, ‘no, not today.’ ‘No’ became my buzz word. It was so automatic that it enveloped me in a kind of comfortable cocoon. And I was content to stay there until one day not so long ago, the years began to catch up with me and my cocoon I noticed, was just a little too tight. I realised too many ‘No’s can suffocate a person. ‘No’  can be very toxic to your life.

Then I began to think seriously. ‘What will I do with the time I have left?’

Middle age is not a turning point toward death; rather it’s a turning point toward life and it occurred to me that it has taken me fifty five years to grow up! What I learned on that particular journey is invaluable and I know I didn’t learn it for nothing.

While aging can certainly make us feel humble, it also makes us realise that life is indeed precious but it is also very fragile.

If you hadn’t experienced the joys and the lows of adversity and the highs of bliss and euphoria, you could never have accomplished the wonderful things you have achieved but you have so much more to do. Much more.

There’s a flame within that burns no matter how old you think you are and it is not too late to throw some kindling on it. It is never too late to begin something else. In fact, you are right on time.

The future you once were thinking of is now your present moment. Perhaps there are times when you berate yourself for not living your past years as thoroughly as you could have. Don’t! You were doing the best you knew how to do it at the time.

But you’re wiser now and you finally get it. This moment is the one that needs to be fulfilled, not the past. And while you’re living this moment, because you’re able to multi-task, you can see the present that is filled with thoughts that keep you sustained and behaving and interacting with others in a way that keeps you true to yourself.

You now understand that if you’re living this moment in fear or in lack or separation, then you cannot expect to receive anything other than more of the same. Change your thoughts and embrace that subtle affirmation ‘I have enough’ and you always will.

And don’t become so involved in your interests and passions that your emotional side is only available one day a week to those you care about. That on every Sunday, they have you and your undivided attention and every other day they just long for you.

It is important to appreciate everything in every day. Be grateful for what you have and to do your absolute in the present moment …

… because it is the only moment you’ll ever have.

[JD1]

How to tell if your Guardian Angel is real

They’re real alright. But you need a little more than my say so. You need credible say so.

Have you ever ‘thought’ you’d seen a fleeting sparkle or a glow of white light in your peripheral?

Have you bent down to pick up a feather that mysteriously appeared on your path and briefly wondered where it came from?

A fragrance so compelling that you’re drawn to it but cannot source is a sign your Guardian Angel is near.

There are so many ways our angels are communicating with us and their ways are as subtle as a whisper. In fact, those words you hear in your head that suddenly have your attention are the words of your angels. Through your intuition they’re sending you their message.

On a windless day when the clouds are relaxed and playing in the sky there can be magical moments when a cloud will form the shape of an angel. A cloud might appear to be a big fluffy, fairy floss heart, a rabbit, a wisp of a feather. These are signs that the angels are near and they never leave our side.

Just today I took my two border collies onto the beach for a run. It was so peaceful. The tide was out and left only were pools of sparkling sea water where an errant fish would swim. The dogs splashed and barked for a while and suddenly it was quiet. When I looked around to see if everything was okay, my dogs were gazing intently at the distance. There was nobody else on the beach. What they were seeing was a guardian angel.

Often, whilst driving my car, I’ll take note of the registration plate on the car in front of me. Adding the numbers together to arrive at a singular number is fun for me but noticing a repetition is a way the angels let me know they’re near.

There are moments when you’re totally alone but you can swear you’re not. Don’t be alarmed or afraid. You’re safe. It’s your guardian angel who has entered your realm.

Sometimes you’ll hear a word or a phrase that seems quite out of the ordinary and it usually is. However, if you can’t hear the message clearly, ask the angels to speak a little louder. Their message is for your ears and you deserve to hear it.

Another sign is the wave of warmth or a chill that rides over your body. Often when I’m speaking about the Law of Attraction or I’m explaining a law or even a reason why something has occurred, I’ll experience a chill that rides to and through my body. It’s an amazing sensation because I’m immediately aware that the angels are by my side subtly validating what I’m saying.

Whatever you do, ask for signs from the angels who are always too happy to oblige. Ask for particular signs if you want validation; ask for a rainbow, a feather, a sound and it will be given.

I remember a time many years ago when I was in a place where abundance seemed to have forsaken me. Newly arrived in a strange town, unemployed and alone, I was sitting on a bench seat outside a tiny supermarket wondering what I could buy my little dog to eat. I had 85 cents to my name.

I had arrived in a new town, a new state and knew absolutely no one. I wasn’t afraid but I was a little concerned that my dear little dog whom I had packed in a cage and flown two states north with me having left our familiar home, was hungry. She would eat first.

Moments later a woman sat down next to me. She asked me to have faith in myself and in the Universe. She knew I was not a familiar face in town and that I probably had absolutely nothing in my bank account. How right she was.

Before rising she turned to me and told me I would be fine. I would have abundance. I would be looked after. She then vanished.

Two days later, not only had I fed my dog and myself but I had a job. The climb was easy after that because I knew I had been touched by an angel.

When you can hear your inner voice, the voice of your angel, the music of the day in the sunshine and feel grateful that you’re safe, sheltered and abundant, then you must ask yourself how does it get any better than this?

You are loved, in fact, you are so loved that you’d be robbing yourself of all you deserve if you didn’t invite your angel to come sit next to you, guide you and show you how it’s all done.

It’s a wonderful experience and you’ll learn that abundance doesn’t mean just the amount of money you have in your banking account.

It means infinitely more.